I'm still alive. Things in my life have been pretty busy, so don't expect an update until the weekend. I'll get better at this, I promise.

While I've got some free time, I want to update you on a few things that have happened across the entertainment world:

• Kate Gosslin is on Dancing with the Stars. I hate this bitch with everything in my heart. I'd still hit it though. With some spelunking gear. You could get lost in that thing, you know.
  
• Tiger Woods comes back to the PGA Tour, supposedly by the Masters. People are dropping trow and bending over for this. I could care less. However, if I didn't care, I wouldn't have posted. So I'll stop now.
  
• Heidi Montag undergoes 10 plastic surgeries to look like a real life Real Doll, and almost dies in the process. She wasn't that bad looking to start. Now she looks like she needs a jack to open her mouth to talk. It's ok though, because she now has DDDs. Nobody's looking at her face. Who am I talking about again?
  
• Lady GaGa rises to fame. Too bad she blows.
• Same goes for Ke$ha. Chick looks like she smells like old condoms. Plus she's gangly and ugly.
• Kristie Alley's uber-strict diet of leaves, wafers and small children may be a front for Scientology. Scientology marketing plans always fail. Just look at Battlefield Earth.

I think I'm caught up now. Look for more on the weekends, aka the only time I have time to do anything.

Labels: update