So the big story of last week, besides Hollywood dropping a deuce in their pants when Roman "I like to rape kids" Polanski's child-diddlin' ass was arrested, is Rio de Janeiro beat out all comers and will be hosting the 2016 Olympics. Normally this wouldn't be news, since nobody gives a flying mustard turd sandwich about the Olympics. What made the story was the fact that President Obama, his wife, and some crazy lady nobody knows about named Oprah decided to head over to Olympic headquarters and try to throw their clout (and Oprah's ass) around to get the committee to host the Olympics in Chicago. What insued, however dear reader, was hilarity.

Thinking "Hey, I'm the President of the US! They've gotta host it in my corrupt, near-broke home town since I want them to!" Barack Obama and his wife decided to pitch for the Olympics in their hometown of Chicago. They wanted the Olympics, which is notorious for going over budget nearly every year, in Chicago, a city who's financial status isn't exactly peachy. I could rant for a second about how certainly none of their political chums would profit off of this whatsoever, but I'll refrain.

What gets my goat out of my pants about the whole thing is the sheer ego it takes to go over there and pitch for this. I mean, they brought Oprah, who makes more money than the city of Chicago probably does. Certainly Oprah can change their minds. I mean, she gave us Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz and...ah, who cares.

By the way, speaking of egos, Michelle Obama has to be one of the biggest assclowns on the face of the planet. Quotes about how she and Barack "sacrificed" to fly to Europe for 12ish hours aside, she annoys the crap out of me. Not so much her, now that I think of it. Moreso people who think she's great. And the next Jackie Kennedy. And Jesus' wife. First off, she looks like Helen Keller dresses her half the time. Second, she looks like she tried to make out with a weedwhacker. While juggling knives with her face.

Ok I'm done. I'm eating Wendy's chili, and would rather do that than type.

Labels: idiots, Obama, Olympics